Izabel (isisizabel) wrote,

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Real Life and Other Dramas

Life sucks. I've come to this complete and total realization.

I haven't even started Chapter 5 of Broken and Beautiful, I have hundreds of bases for icons that remain untouched, several m-vids in the works, and I lack the desire/drive to do anything.


In the last four days, my world has completely titled on its axis and is threatening to just shatter into a million little pieces altogether. I've suddenly come to the abrupt and damning conclusion that I'm actually an adult, and this requires me to make adult choices.

I have a friend that is in late-stage HIV. She's already been diagnosed once as having AIDS, but managed to get her blood count up to HIV status again. Her frateral granmother just passed away and willed her a house in the city that my friend plans to sell. Said house has been appraised for over $350,000. She plans to put the majority of the money in a trust for her young son.

Enter the problem:

Since her sudden windfall, everyone in her family -- including her own parents -- have been hitting her up for money, saying that she owes them. Needless to say my friend is worried about what will become of her son should she pass away before he turns 18 (he's 10 now). My friend has asked me to take her son, and manage his trust fund, in the event of her death.

I've never wanted kids. I don't hate them by any means, but I've always loved kids that I could give back to their parents when I was done playing with them. But how can I say no to her when I'm the only person in her life she entrusts with her child? And it's not as if I don't already adore her son. He's a sweet, albeit energetic, kid with a great heart. 

But I don't know if I'm ready to be a mom. Granted, I wouldn't be his real mom, but I would assume all 'Mom' responsibilities. For the rest of my life.

Now my friend could live with her disease for another eight years or more, and this may never be an issue. Then again, I also realize she could get sick and be gone in a year.

Again: I never wanted children, let alone imagined myself as a single mother (because I have no boyfriend, and no intentions of marrying) of a pre-teen/teenager. 

I hate being an adult. I think I'd like to try being a kid again.
Tags: rant, real life

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